- Wear a hood with one eyehole. Periodically make strange gurgling noises.
- After confirming everyone's names on the roll, thank the class for attending "Advanced Astrodynamics 690" and mention that yesterday was the last day to drop.
- After turning on the overhead projector, clutch your chest and scream "MY PACEMAKER!"
- Wear a pointed Kaiser helmet and a monocle and carry a riding crop.
- Gradually speak softer and softer and then suddenly point to a student and scream "YOU! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"
- Deliver your lecture through a hand puppet. If a student asks you a question directly, say in a high-pitched voice, "The Professor can't hear you, you'll have to ask *me*, Winky Willy".